Nine tips for raising successful kids

Raising successful children is completely linked to their upbringing from day one and the way to deal intelligently with them. Perseverance is the number 1 soft skill that can distinguish children who are highly motivated compared to those who give up easily. In fact, many studies have supported that perseverance skill is a stronger predictor of success than IQ, according to a report published by the American "CNBC" website.

Dr. Michelle Borba, an educational psychologist and expert in child rearing, says in her report that children who are persistent do not give up in the face of setbacks or any difficulties in their lives. They believe that their efforts will pay off, so they remain motivated to work hard and finish what they have started despite any obstacles that may appear in their path.

Dr. Borba offers nine ways in which parents can help children build the skill of perseverance in their children:

1. 4 factors that discourage children

The first step, says Dr. Borba, is to combat the four factors that hinder perseverance:
• Fatigue: Protect your child's ability to focus by sticking to a regular sleep routine. Turn off appliances an hour before bed and keep monitors out of the bedroom at night.
• Anxiety: The pressure to succeed can cause overwhelming feelings. Tell your child that your love does not depend on his success.

• Learning expectations: Parents should take into account that their expectations for children's learning are commensurate with their abilities, as expectations can be set slightly higher than the child's skill level. Expectations that are too high can cause anxiety, while expectations that are too low can lead to boredom.

2. Mistakes are opportunities for growth

Remind your children that mistakes can be a positive thing, even if the situation isn't what they expected. Accept their mistakes and tell them: “It's okay to fail. What matters is that you try.”
Admit your mistakes, too. This will help them realize that everyone makes mistakes, and that success happens when you don't let setbacks define who you are.

3. Division of tasks

Teaching your children to break big tasks into smaller, manageable parts will help them feel more confident about completing things over time.

4. Celebrate Small Achievements

Repeated failure can destroy perseverance, but the smallest success can encourage the child to keep going, so help him identify his small gains.

5. Enhance the child's concentration

If your child wants to give up a task, you can put a timer on their desk and set it for an appropriate amount of time, tailored to suit their attention span. Explain to him that he just needs to keep going until the bell rings. Then he can take a quick break and reset the timer. Encourage him to see how many problems he can complete before the bell rings so he can see that he is succeeding and over time the child will be easier to focus.

6. Stretch the humerus of the “stumbled”

When kids give up, it's probably because they can't see their way out of the challenge. Start by acknowledging their frustration and expressing that it feels normal. Try to get the child to rest. When he returns to the task, see if he can help him identify one small cause of stumbling in his way.

7. Effort of Praise

Carol Dweck, a psychologist at Stanford University, has discovered that when children are praised for their intelligence, they are less likely to persevere. But when you praise their efforts (for example, you say, "You worked hard at that! Good job."), ​​they are more motivated and work harder.

To increase persistence, praise your child's effort, not his grades. The goal is to be driven to success without external motivators, as research has found that superficial reinforcers can actually reduce children's perseverance.

8. Create phrases that strengthen perseverance

Negative self-talk such as "I can't do that" or "I'm not smart enough" hampers perseverance. Help your child choose a short, positive phrase to say to himself when the going gets tough. The child could say, “Things don't have to be perfect. I will be better if you keep trying.”

9. Let them find out

One of the most important rules of parenting is to never do something for your children that they can do on their own. Each time you fix your child's mistakes or do something for them, they increasingly learn to rely on you rather than on themselves. Once you know your child can complete a task on their own, take a step back. Allow him to embrace that sense of accomplishment.