Dalida Ayyash talks about her experience on the day of the Beirut Port Explosion

Dalida Ayyash talks about her experience on the day of the Beirut Port Explosion 

In an interview with "My Lady" magazine, Dalida Ayyash, Rami Ayyash's wife, spoke about her personal experience when the port of Beirut exploded. And in the conversation:

Tell us, where were you before the explosion?

That morning, being a Brazilian citizen, I went to the Brazilian embassy in Beirut to finish some papers related to my sons obtaining Brazilian citizenship. I also registered my marriage at the embassy. When I finished the transactions, I went back to the house where I fed my two sons and sat with them for about 4 hours before I went to the beauty salon in the Ashrafieh area. My son Aram usually cries to take him with me when I leave the house, but this time he was convinced to stay at home with his sister Ayana As if my heart was feeling that something was going to happen. I heard the first loud sound, and the landlady screamed, saying it was an explosion. But I thought it was an earthquake and took it as a joke. I took two steps, then moved away a little from the window, and then “the world exploded.” I flew from my place and could no longer comprehend what had happened. And now I'm shivering as I tell you what happened. I immediately remembered my son. And I asked God to protect them, and I told him my two sons, with your protection, I handed them over to you, and I am ready. Just take me and protect them, and tell God if this is the moment you want to take me, then come take me.

Did you think about death at that moment?

I saw death at that moment. I felt that my soul left my body, I can't describe what I felt and no words can describe what happened. I felt as if I was no longer on the ground, and when I opened my eyes and saw that I was still there, I was surprised and did not comprehend what had happened. I don't remember where I fell and how it all happened in seconds. All I know is that when I got up and found everyone screaming from everywhere, and I was the only one who was calm among them, and I got back and said calmly in the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. Then I looked at myself and found a lot of blood dripping from me. I was barefoot, and I looked at the whole scene before me, and asked myself what I should do, should I run away or stay where I was, and then I thought maybe it was better to stay where I am.

Who was your savior after the explosion?

The guys in the salon did not leave me. I called Rami and his line was switched off, so I called the guy who works for us and he came and we immediately went to the hospital. They wanted to take me to a hospital in Ashrafieh, so I screamed and asked them to go to a hospital near my sons, and I refused to stay in Ashrafieh. And I said, God forbid, that if something new was going to happen, I wanted to be on their side.

What is the hardest thing that Dalida has experienced?

The moment I entered the hospital, the scenes of the victims, the screaming of the wounded, and the blood shedding, knowing that I have never in my life made a single stitch in my body, but my wounds and my being subjected to stitches were nothing in front of the horror of what I witnessed to the victims of the explosion in the hospital. Now there are about 35 stitches in my hand, and my left hand hurt more than the right, especially in the elbow area, in addition to 9 stitches in my nose and 4 in my foot. I was barefoot and thanked God for how the shattered glass did not cut my feet, and until now I don't know how I survived that.

Moments of pain, how do you retrieve Dalida now?

My pain is not as important as the horror I felt for my husband, my two sons, my mother and my brothers. I am not the only one who experienced this feeling, but all of Lebanon lived that, even those who were not present in the heart of this explosion were affected by it. I was relieved to see Rami in the hospital and I felt safe when he was by my side, and he was trying to relieve me on the one hand, and on the other hand help those who need help, and all the time he was telling me: “You are fine”, but I was looking at him and finding His eyes were saying something different, and I saw loss and fear in him. It was the first time I saw him in this condition, he tried to calm me down and reassured that nothing happened to anyone close to us and those who were with me. Rami's presence was not only important to me, but he would help the doctors in the hospital who stitched the wounded boys and held their hands to relieve them.

How was the meeting with Rami after the explosion?

I was wearing beige pants, and when he saw the amount of blood flowing from me and covering my clothes, he was very afraid for me and asked the doctor about the source of the blood and what was happening to me, thank God for everything. We stayed in the hospital for about 6 hours, and when I got home, I discovered that Aram did not go to bed early, as he used to, as if he felt that something was wrong with me. I didn't cry or get moved by everything that happened, but the moment I saw my son I burst into tears.

What hurts me is that I was not by their side when the explosion happened, and I don't know what they felt when it happened. They are young and cannot express themselves, thank God they were accompanied by the housekeeper and my uncle, my house is all made of glass but thank God it did not fall or break.

Are you afraid today more than ever?

The first night I slept after the explosion in Beirut, it was painful and I became terrified of the glass of the house. The next day, Ramy decided to take me to the mountain house, so that I could no longer bear to see either of my sons sitting by the window and I started screaming quickly, knowing that this would take some time to be able to get out of it.

Is Dalida afraid that her figure will be distorted?

Never, and this never occurred to me. To this day, I still do not know whether my nose needs plastic surgery or not, because the moment the doctor treated me, the wounds were deep, and I remember him saying to me, “Maybe you will need plastic surgery later.” I didn't care. And whoever saw death with his eyes will not care about his form.

Did you feel fear for your children?

More than you imagine. While I was in the hospital, I told Rami I want to take my two sons and leave, I don't want them to stay here. Like any mother, I always want the best for my two sons, and all parents work hard for the future of their children, and I thank God that I was the one who was hurt by the explosion while they were at home. May God give patience to every mother who lost her children, and there are no words to describe the horror of the loss. I don't know what to say.

Ramy Ayach, I hope that Dalida will overcome the tragedy with minimal damage