Your child's behavior is your own making, so make him the ideal child

* Every child subjected to coercion takes revenge
There are two types of revenge:
1- Positive revenge
( Smart kid )
(stubbornness / aggression / rebellion / violence)

2- Negative revenge
(a child with a weak personality)
(Involuntary urination / hair pulling / crying a lot / stopping eating / biting nails / stuttering)

* To treat disturbing behavior, the parents' behavior must be modified and the coercive behavior should be abandoned.

* Excessive instructions and exhortations to the child make him close when he reaches adolescence (he refuses even to listen to his parents), as well as with regard to permanent beatings.
Example: If a child hits his mother, force should be used against him, not violence, such as holding his hand and not hitting him without screaming or getting upset.

* Any bad behavior needs an extinguishing method (ignoring)
Note: Every attempt to modify the disturbing behavior of the child by negative methods (violence - threat - temptation) may push the child to transform the disturbing behavior into worse and more difficult behavior in treatment.

* Foolishness is the main engine of stubbornness (from the age of one and a half - two years) and he must rely on himself (for example: he eats alone with your help).

* From bad education: Too much freedom - daily sermons because they spoil, so they should be (1-2 minutes) per week only.

* Threatening style (do...otherwise....) or (if you don't... I'll tell your father) a cowardly child in the future and the father becomes a monster..

* The worst method of education is the fear of the mother and father lead to the act of unwanted behavior without their knowledge.

* The best method of upbringing is to respect the father and mother, which leads to not doing the unwanted behavior in front of them or without their knowledge.

Punishment is the worst thing we can do to a child because it is a helpless style.
* If a child is punished, he will take revenge.

* When using punishment and insults in dealing with the child, he will be impersonal and hypocritical in the future.

* If the child is agitated (screaming/hitting), we hug him from behind with the pat on him for a minute without speaking.

* We do not have to teach the child to defend himself by beating (if he hits you, hit him), but we teach him how and to whom to complain.

* We should not interfere with anything negative that children under the age of six do, but rather let them learn life skills through their surroundings.

* From birth to the age of 7 years, 90% of the child's personality is formed (we will see it in the future).

From the age of 7-18 years, 10% of his personality is formed.

* The basis of all these things is reassurance.. Example: I do not love you.. This is the most dangerous statement to be said to a child. Rather, we must say: I do not like what you have done, but I love you.

* The most important and best punishment is the punishment with praise.. (You are good - you are polite - you .... do such and such).

* Punishment can be just a look.

* The punishment may be upset (not talking to the child, but for only two minutes)
Example: You have 10 minutes either…..or……, and after the 10 minutes have passed, do what I said.. This is not considered punishment or deprivation, but I gave him two options and he chose one of them and from here he learns responsibility.

* A child should not be forced to give something to others in spite of him. Children know how to deal with each other, and a child up to the age of 7 is selfish (forms himself).

Teaching children to write:

* If a child learns to write when he is less than 6 years old, a part of the brain will mature prematurely, so after the age of 12 he often hates reading, writing and studying.

Belief generates behaviour. 

The disturbing behavior of the child is the result of a belief he believes about himself.
* The child collects information about himself through messages (you).... who am I ??
Example: My mother says: I.... , If I ….
The teacher says: I... , If I …..
My dad says: I'm awesome... So I'm great
* The child does only what he thinks about himself and deals on this basis.

The solution to annoying behavior:
1- Determine the quality you want from your child (friendly / helpful..).

2- 70 messages per day in this capacity (say these messages in the car, when eating and before bed....)

3- Introduce your child to those around you daily:
how ?? Say, "God willing."
But on one condition, if you say a bad word to the child or yell at him, you will go back from zero and start over.

Behavior change rules:

1- Determine the unwanted behavior (that we would like to change).

2- Talking to the child specifically about what we expect from him and what we want.

3- Show him how this can be achieved.

4- Praise and thank the child for good behavior, not to praise himself but his good deeds: You are wonderful because you are calm and it is wonderful to be calm..

5- Continuing to praise the behavior until it becomes a habit.

6- Avoiding the use of violence.

7- Be present with your children (if the child misses the parents' attention, he loses the motives to change the behavior).

8- Not remembering the mistakes of the past.. (the child gets frustrated)

9- Not giving orders to the child when you are in an abnormal state (extreme fatigue - anger - tension).

Stay away from these negatives completely:

1- Criticism (example: I told you and you didn't hear the words) Instead we say (You are awesome... but if you do...)

2- Blame (why didn't you do such and such?)

3- Comparison (destroys the relationship of trust between parents and children), for example (look at So-and-so who is 5 years old and he is smarter than you academically) only the boy should be compared to himself.

4- Irony leads to a complex of self-esteem

5- Control (sit / listen to talk / get up / do...) The child is free by nature and does not like to be controlled..

6- Not listening.

7- Screaming... which is an insult to the child and frustrating for himself.