How do you handle marital disputes intelligently?

Marital disputes are inevitable and very natural between husbands, but we must not make these differences a threat to this marriage, leading to its collapse and dealing with problems intelligently. The struggle to make it revolve in the circle of respect.

Reasons for complicating and amplifying differences:

Harsh criticism in a destructive manner by attacking the personality of the wife or husband and using hurtful words (selfish, irresponsible, bad-tempered, I can't live with you...) instead of expressing mere resentment in the specific situation that led to feelings of anger.

The attack in a manner of contempt is expressed in the tone of voice or sarcasm in words or facial expressions, and it may come to insults, and this method will lead to a defensive reaction, perhaps worse than the other party.

It is normal for couples to feel some tense moments from time to time when they disagree, but the real problem is when one of the spouses feels that he has reached the stage of suffocation in a way, so he thinks all the time about the worst of the other side so that everything he does becomes negative and every problem they encounter becomes It is impossible to treat it and each party begins to isolate from the other, which leads to a psychological or real divorce.

Ways to help resolve disputes:

ـ Good listening and objective complaint :
For example, a man can listen well to his wife’s problem without showing boredom or insulting the complaint as a kind of attention and friendliness, and the wife should reduce harsh criticism and attacks on her husband’s personality and only display her annoyance about the situation itself.

Not focusing on issues that provoke a fight between spouses:
Such as raising children, household expenses and household chores, but rather focus on points of agreement and compatibility between them.

Extinguishing the fire of battle :
And that is the ability to calm oneself and calm the other party with sympathy and good listening to each other. This leads to the opportunity to search for a way to resolve the conflict in an effective and not emotional way, and thus overcome all subsequent disputes in general.
Clearing the mind of negative thoughts:

Such negative emotional thoughts that are similar to saying (I do not deserve such treatment) provoke destructive feelings, the wife feels that she is a victim, and holding onto these thoughts and feeling anger and embarrassment of dignity complicates matters. And with the help of both parties themselves in restoring the positive attitudes in their minds that alleviate the feeling of injustice and oppression and thus undoing the issuance of harsh judgments.