What are the symptoms that you are overexerting yourself for people

What are the symptoms that you are overexerting yourself for people

It is good for a person to devote his attention and effort to serving members of his community and providing care and cooperation with others, which are among the most positive qualities of human nature. But experts point out that there is a fine line between giving and pleasing others and presenting the needs and desires of others over personal requirements, explaining that excessive giving can be a clear indication of a state of low self-esteem, according to a report published by Hack Spirit.

Warning signs

1. Consistently saying yes

Constantly agreeing to any other's requests and taking care of a lot of needs can end up feeling exhausting or stressful.

2. The embarrassment of saying no

Of course, declining someone's request would not be comfortable in certain situations. But consent without binding necessity will mean that one will engage in all kinds of uncomfortable commitments that one does not really want to do. One can fall easily into the hands of those who know they cannot say no.

3. Attracting “exploiters and abusers”

It is as if the same person attracts these people, who abuse his kindness, taking advantage of this quality as a weakness and deliberately asking too much, making the relationship with them devoted around their problems, needs and desires.

4. Feeling resentful

When a person gives and cooperates with others, he should feel satisfied. If the feeling changes to a state of resentment, then it is an indication that the other possesses more than the logical and appropriate limits. Resentment is a sign that there is an imbalance between give and take.

5. Avoid conflict

Giving in and agreeing to take advantage of the other because of the desire to avoid confrontations and conflicts, causes annoyance to the person all the time. Preferring to compromise values, priorities, and needs rather than argue, can make it difficult to truly be yourself.

6. A false sense of love and appreciation

Perhaps a person believes that in order to be loved, desired and accepted, he must do what other people want and expect from him. He is afraid that not fulfilling any request might make him unpopular.

7. Win everyone's love

Some seek to intensify the “conformity” factor by trying to please all people all the time, and to express approval of things they themselves are not convinced of just to try to get along with others.

8. Neglecting personal needs

It's okay for a person to put themselves and their needs first. But it can be a huge challenge for those who seek to please everyone. They are afraid of being seen as selfish if they do so.

Logical rules and boundaries

The following steps can be taken to learn how to set appropriate boundaries to prevent others from inappropriately taking advantage of your generosity, kindness, and giving:

1. Get to know yourself

Self-awareness is vital when a person wants to make changes. If he can't see the truth, he can't solve problems realistically. Self-knowledge in terms of completely eliminating the desire to submit to the exploiters will help shed light on self-problems and address them.

2. Boost self-confidence

At the heart of many tendencies to please everyone lies low self-esteem. The wants and needs of others are ranked higher than the person's own wants and needs because ultimately they don't feel worthy of putting their own wants first.

3. Prioritizing

Many people-pleasers spend so much time seeking to satisfy the needs of others that over time they become unsure of what is most important to them. Setting priorities helps one choose how to spend his time and energy, according to his needs and priorities.

4. Be patient in expressing consent

One of the practical problems faced by many who cannot simply apologize and say no to others is that they become obligated to attend to needs they would rather not do. Therefore, waiting to express consent can provide more time to think about whether it is appropriate to do the thing or not, so phrases such as:

• Allow me to get back to you on this
• I will consider it with some seriousness
• I'm not sure if I can do it, but I'll let you know if I can
• I need to check a few things before I promise this commitment

5. Don't overdo it

Choices should not be overstated, and there is no need for excuses for doing something you don't want to do. Too much explanation can undermine decisions. Of course, one should not apologize because there is no obligation to apologize for what does not correspond to one's priorities and desires.

6. Remember your personal schedule

If a person remembers and knows what the hours are, he needs them to satisfy his personal needs and desires. For example, when answering the phone, a sweetly calling friend can be told that they only have 15 minutes to talk, protecting time and not wasting opportunities to complete private tasks or enjoy one's time as one pleases.

7. Equal respect

When a person answers the question: “How does he deal with others?” He or she can then set expectations and set controls for receiving the same level of respect, care, and time from others.

8. Letting go of destructive relationships

Adhering to the new regulations and rules can lead to feelings of resentment among some friends, neighbors or colleagues. The correct translation of this situation is that one has to accept that some friendships, contacts, or relationships will start to fade because the person whose kindness and giving they used to take advantage of is no longer there.

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