Unokumnceda njani umntwana wakho athembele kuye?

Unokumnceda njani umntwana wakho athembele kuye?

Ingxelo yengcaphephe yobuzali uBill Murphy Jr. yaze yapapashwa yi-Inc.com inika ingqokelela yezona ngcebiso zibalaseleyo zobuzali, ezithathwe kwizifundo, uphando kunye namava afunyenwe nzima kubazali ababonakala besenza umsebenzi olungileyo nabantwana babo, ilula kwaye inokuhlawula ekuhambeni kwexesha:

1. Inkxaso ngamaxesha obunzima

Abazali abaninzi bayazibuza ukuba yintoni eyona nto ilungileyo abanokuyenza xa abantwana babo bejamelene nobunzima. Ngokubanzi, kukho iindlela ezimbini:

• Ukhetho 1: Ukungxamela ukuma ecaleni komntwana ukuze umxhase yaye umncede, ngendlela eya kumnceda abe nentembelo yakhe ekuhambeni kwexesha, kungakhathaliseki ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuba umntwana akhule exhomekeke kubazali ngokusisigxina.

• UKhetho lwesi-2: Gcina umgama omfutshane, hlala ukufutshane ngokwaneleyo ukuze uqinisekise ukuba akukho nto icaphukisayo eyenzekayo, kodwa unyanzelisa umntwana ukuba azilungisele ngokwakhe izinto, nto leyo eyenza kube nzima ukuzithemba nokuzithemba.

Ngesilumkiso sokuba kukho imida kuyo yonke imigaqo, iingcali zikhetha ukhetho lokuqala kuba, ngokufutshane, umntwana uziva ekhuselekile kwaye unokuthembela kwabona bantu babalulekileyo ebomini bakhe.

2. Vumela indawo yokulinga kunye nokungaphumeleli

Owayesakuba ngumphathi wabafundi abasebatsha kwiYunivesithi yaseStanford, uJulie Lythcott-Hims, uchaza kwincwadi yakhe ethi, How to Raise an Adult, ukuba abazali bafanele bakulungele ukuvumela abantwana bazame izinto ezintsha baze basilele, ngaphandle kokubakhusela kuzo zonke iziphumo ezingephi. ukuqonda ukuba ubandakanyo lwenzeka kwaye wenze ngengcebiso yokuqala ukuba kulindeleke iziphumo ezingathandekiyo.

3. Khulisa ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo

Abantu bafuna ubudlelwane obukhulu ukuze bonwabe kwaye baphumelele ebomini, kwaye ukuphuhlisa olo budlelwane kufuna ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo, ekufuneka bukhuliswe kwaye bukhuthazwe. URachel Katz noHelen Choi Hadani, ababhali boMntwana okrelekrele ngokweemvakalelo: Amacebo asebenzayo okuKhulisa ukuzazi, ukusebenzisana, kunye nabantwana abalungeleleneyo, bathi eyona ndlela ilungileyo yokunceda abantwana baphuhlise ingqondo yabo ngokweemvakalelo kukuba abazali bamisele izenzo ezilungileyo kwintlalontle nakwintlalontle. ubudlelwane babantu.

4. Okulindelekileyo kunye nemilinganiselo

Abaphengululi beYunivesithi yase-Essex eUnited Kingdom, bashwankathela oko bakufumanisileyo, besithi: “Ngasemva kwawo onke amabhinqa aphumelelayo kukho ibhinqa elinengxaki,” bechaza ukuba amantombazana akwishumi elivisayo adla ngokuphumelela ukuba anoomama abasoloko bewakhumbuza ngezinto azilindeleyo nazilindeleyo. bakuxabisa kangakanani ukuphumelela ekufundeni nasekufumaneni imisebenzi emihle. .

5. Zibandakanye namabali

Abazali abanabantwana abancinane banomdla wokufunda amabali kodwa kusafuneka basebenzise icebiso leengcali “lokufunda ngaphakathi” nabantwana, nto leyo ethetha ukuba endaweni yokubafundela nje iincwadi, bamise kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo baze bacele umntwana ukuba acinge ngako. Likhula njani ibali, loluphi ukhetho abanokulwenza, kwaye ngoba. Le ndlela inceda ukuqonda ngokulula iingcamango kunye neenjongo zabanye.

6. Ukuncoma impumelelo

UCarol Dweck, unjingalwazi wezengqondo kwiYunivesithi yaseStanford, uthi abantwana abafanele banconywe ngezinto ezifana nobukrelekrele, iimbaleki, okanye isiphiwo sobugcisa, buchule bemvelo, kuba bakhula bengenawo umdla wokufunda nokugqwesa.

Kodwa ukuncoma abantwana ngendlela abacombulula ngayo iingxaki—amacebo neendlela abaza nazo, kwanaxa bengaphumeleli—kukwenza kube lula ukuba bazame ngakumbi baze baphumelele ekugqibeleni.

7. Ukunconywa kakhulu kubo

Abaphandi abavela kwiYunivesithi yaseBrigham Young bacebisa abazali ukuba babe nesibindi ngokuncoma. Abaphandi bafunde amagumbi okufundela amabanga aphantsi ukulinganisa indumiso kunye nefuthe layo ebantwaneni, iminyaka emithathu, kwaye barekhoda indlela ootitshala abanxibelelana ngayo nabafundi. Okukhona ootitshala bencoma abafundi, kokukhona beqhuba ngcono, kungakhathaliseki ukuba zeziphi na ezinye izinto, watsho umbhali ophambili wesifundo uPaul Caldarella.

8. Yiba nenxaxheba kwimisebenzi yasekhaya

Uphononongo lophando emva kophononongo lufumanise ukuba abantwana abenza imisebenzi yasekhaya baphela bengabantu abaphumeleleyo. Olunye uhlolisiso lubonisa ukuba ukuba nenxaxheba kwabantwana kwimisebenzi yasekhaya ‘enjengokukhupha inkunkuma baze bazihlambele iimpahla zabo, kubenza baqonde ukuba bamele benze umsebenzi othile ebomini ukuze babe yinxalenye yayo.’ Noko ke, imele ibe yinxalenye yayo. baqonda ukuba ukucela abantwana ukuba benze umsebenzi wasekhaya akuquki ukunyamekela izilwanyana zabo zasekhaya.

9. Nciphisa kwaye ujikelezise imidlalo

Abaphandi kwiYunivesithi yaseToledo bafumanise ukuba abantwana abaneethoyi ezimbalwa bafumana iindlela zokwandisa ukucinga kwabo ngempumelelo, kunye nokudlala ngokuyilayo kunabantwana abaneethoyi ezininzi.

Eli cebiso alithethi ukuba umntwana makangavunyelwa okanye anganikwa isipho esinye somhla wokuzalwa ebesoloko esicela. Kodwa abaphandi bacebisa ukuba kujikeleziswa amathoyizi kunye nokuyila iindawo zokudlala ukuze umntwana anikele ingqalelo koko akwenzayo kwaye angaphazanyiswa zezinye iindlela.

10. Lala kakuhle kwaye uphume uyokudlala

Abaphandi bafumanise ukuba okukhona abantwana bechitha ixesha elininzi behleli ezindlwini, kokukhona bencipha amathuba okuba baphumelele ezifundweni phakathi koontanga babo. Ukongezelela ekuphuhliseni izakhono zakhe zemfundo, umntwana kufuneka enze umsebenzi womzimba owaneleyo ngaphandle.

Umntwana kufuneka afundiswe ukubeka phambili ukulala kakuhle. Abaphandi beYunivesithi yaseMaryland bafunde abantwana abangama-8300 abaneminyaka eyi-9 ukuya kweyi-10, begxile kubungakanani bokulala ababufumanayo ngobusuku ngabunye. "Abantwana abafumana ubuthongo obuhle banobuchopho obunegrey okanye umthamo omkhulu kwiindawo ezithile zengqondo ezijongene nokuqwalaselwa kunye nememori," watsho uZi Wang, unjingalwazi we-diagnostic kunye ne-nuclear radiology.