Ngomhla woMama, umncoma njani umntwana wakho?

Ngomhla woMama, umncoma njani umntwana wakho?

Uphando luye lwafumanisa ukuba indlela umntwana anconywa ngayo ibalulekile yaye kukho ezinye iindidi zokumncoma ezinokuba bhetele kunezinye. Nazi iingcebiso ezi-7 ezisekwe kubungqina bokudumisa abantwana ngempumelelo:

1. Ncoma izenzo, kungekhona umntu

Mncome umntwana wakho ngemigudu, ubuchule bakhe, nezinto aziphumezileyo, kuneempawu angenakuzitshintsha ngokulula (ezinjengobukrelekrele, iimbaleki, okanye ubuhle). Uphando lufumene ukuba olu hlobo "lokudumisa inkqubo" luphucula inkuthazo yangaphakathi yabantwana kunye nokunyamezela xa bejongene nomngeni. "Mdumise umntu" (oko kukuthi ukuncoma iimpawu ezihambelana nomntu) kwenza umntwana agxininise ngakumbi kwiimpazamo zakhe kwaye anikezele ngokulula kwaye azibeke ityala.

2. Indumiso exhasayo

Uphando lubonisa ukuba ukunconywa kufanele kuxhase ukuzimela komntwana kuze kukhuthaze ukuzigweba. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba utata okanye umama athi, “Kubonakala ngathi ukulonwabele ngokwenene olo sukelo,” kunokuba athi, “Ndivuya gqitha xa uye wafumana amanqaku.”

3. Kuphephe ukuzithelekisa nabanye

Xa indumiso isetyenziselwa ukuthelekisa umntwana nabanye, iphakamisa ukusebenza kwexesha elifutshane. Kodwa ekuhambeni kwexesha, olu qheliselo lunokuthi lubhekiselele kubantu abagweba ukusebenza kwabo kuphela ngokumalunga nabanye kunokuba bafezekise okanye banandiphe iinjongo zabo ngokwabo. Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuba ezi ziphumo zisenokungasebenzi kubantu abasuka kwiinkcubeko ezidityanelweyo.

4. Ukwenza umntu akwenzele nto ngokubanzi

Iziphumo zophando zibonisa ukuba ukuncoma ulwazi oluthile kunceda abantwana bafunde indlela yokuphucula indlela abaziphatha ngayo kwixesha elizayo. Umzekelo, ibinzana elithi “Kufuneka ubuyisele izinto zakho zokudlala ebhaskithini okanye ebhokisini xa ugqibile ukuzisebenzisa” linceda abantwana bafunde izinto ezithile abazilindeleyo.

Ukuba abazali basuka nje bathi “umsebenzi omhle” emva kokuba umntwana elungelelanise izinto zakhe zokudlala ngokutsha, usenokungazi ukuba eli binzana libhekisela kwintoni. Kwakhona kufanele kuqatshelwe ukuba uhlolisiso lwakutshanje lufumanise ukuba ukunconywa ngokubanzi nokungacacanga kunokwenza abantwana bazijonge ngendlela engafanelekanga. Owona mbono uphambili uthintela olu hlobo lwendumiso yoluntu kukuba ayinakubanika abantwana umbono wendlela yokuphucula kwikamva.

5. Sebenzisa izijekulo

Uphando lukwacebisa ukuba abazali banokusebenzisa izimbo zomzimba (ezifana nokukhomba ngobhontsi) ukukhuthaza abantwana babo ngamaxesha athile. Uphando lufumanise ukuba izijekulo zezandla zinokusebenza kakhulu ekuphuculeni ukuzivandlakanya kwabantwana, olululuvo lwabo malunga nendlela abaqhuba ngayo kunye nendlela abaziva ngayo ngayo.

6. Nyaniseka

Uphando lubonisa ukuba xa abantwana bevakalelwa kukuba abazali babo bayazibaxa izinto okanye babancome kakhulu, badla ngokudandatheka baze bangaqhubi kakuhle esikolweni. Okwangoku, uphando lubonise ukuba ukuncoma ngokugqithiseleyo (njengokuthi umzali uthi, "Lo ngowona mzobo mhle ndakha ndawubona") inxulunyaniswa nokukhula kokuzithemba kwabantwana, ukuphepha imingeni kunye nokuthembela ngokugqithiseleyo ekudumiseni.

7. Mncome kwaye ubeke ingqalelo entle

Ukuncoma kunye nengqalelo eyakhayo okanye ukusabela kakuhle ngaphandle kwelizwi (ukwanga, uncumo, ukumbambazela, okanye olunye uhlobo lothando lomzimba) kubonakala kuyeyona ndlela iphumelelayo ekuphuculeni ukuziphatha kwabantwana.

Kodwa kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuba abazali akufuneki balandele yonke le mithetho ngokugqibeleleyo. Ngokomzekelo, uphando luye lwabonisa ukuba logama nje uninzi lwendumiso yabantwana lusiva (ubuncinane izihlandlo ezithathu kwezine) yindumiso esebenzayo, abantwana babonisa ukuzingisa okwandisiweyo nokuphucula ukuzihlolisisa.