Amava aqinisekisa impumelelo yeendlela zokuzinzisa ubomi bomtshato

Amava aqinisekisa impumelelo yeendlela zokuzinzisa ubomi bomtshato

Uhlolisiso lwenzululwazi lwaluquka imitshato engama-40 50 kwithuba leminyaka engama-XNUMX, ngenjongo yokubeka isiseko esiyintloko sokuqinisekisa ukuzinza kolwalamano lomtshato nokuphepha uqhawulo-mtshato. Uphononongo luqhutywe nguDkt. John Gottman kunye nomfazi wakhe, uDkt. Julie Schwartz, abasunguli be-Gottman Institute for Psychology Studies kunye nababhali be-Love Prescription: Iintsuku eziSixhenxe ukuya kwi-Intimacy engaphezulu, uQhagamshelwano, kunye novuyo kunye neMithetho eliShumi yoNyango oluSebenzayo. .

Ngokwento epapashwe yi-CNBC, izazi ngengqondo ezimbini zathi ngelixa iqhina lomtshato ngalinye okanye ubudlelwane bohlukile, kunye nemiceli mngeni yabo, kukho into enye eqhelekileyo phakathi kwazo zonke izibini ezifuna ukuxatyiswa, kwaye ziqatshelwe. imizamo yabo, kwaye ke igama imfihlo impumelelo ubudlelwane bomtshato ligama elithi "enkosi".

Ubudlelwane bomtshato obuphumelelayo bufuna inkcubeko yoxabiso kunye nombulelo.Ukuqaphela oko iqabane lakho likwenza ngokufanelekileyo kuthetha ukugxila kwizinto ezintle, kungekhona ezimbi. Le nkcubeko inokuzuzwa ngokususa iindlela zokucinga ezinetyhefu apho ujonge okulungileyo kwaye uthi "enkosi".

Amanyathelo okufumana ingqondo yokuxabisa

Omnye uthi “enkosi” imini yonke, phantse engacinganga, kwabo asebenza nabo okanye kunobhala weebhotile okwivenkile enkulu okanye kumntu angamaziyo obambe ucango xa ewela okanye umqhubi olindele ukuba avunyelwe ukuwela indlela ngokukhuselekileyo. Kodwa kubudlelwane obubaluleke kakhulu ebomini bakhe, unokulibala ukuba kubaluleke kangakanani ukuthi "enkosi" kumlingane wakhe.

Izazi ngengqondo uGqr. Gottman noGqr. Schwartz bathi xa indoda okanye umfazi eqalisa ukwenza into ebonisa uxabiso, kuba lula ngomtshato ukuqinisa nokukhula.

Inyathelo 1: Qaphela iinkcukacha ngokufutshane:

Nanini na kunokwenzeka, umyeni okanye umfazi unokukulandela oko kwenzekayo kuye, aphawule iingongoma ezintle aze azibethe ngoyaba ezimbi. Abaphandi babonisa ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuba umyeni axelele iqabane lakhe lobomi ukuba umjongile ukuze aqhelane ngakumbi nemini yakhe nayo yonke into ayenzayo, echaza ukuba ukuziphatha kwakhe akusayi kutshintsha kakhulu xa eyazi loo nto. umyeni uzijongile iinkcukacha.

Inyathelo lesiBini: Ukubonakalisa umbulelo:

Abaphandi bancomela ukuba abantu abatshatileyo babonise umbulelo noxabiso ngayo yonke into abayenzayo ngokwesiqhelo, nokuba incinane, ingakumbi ukuba iyinto nje elula yaye beyenza yonke imihla. Kodwa abaneli nje ukuthi ‘enkosi’, baxelelana ukuba isenzo esilula sisicombululo esibalulekileyo, ngokomzekelo, xa inkosikazi isenzela umyeni ikomityi yekofu kusasa okanye xa umyeni eye kuthenga igrosari. Indlela egodukayo evela emsebenzini.Ekhaya, iqabane lobomi liyabulela omnye komnye, lichaza ukuba oko kwenza usuku luhambe kakuhle.

fumana iimpazamo kwaye uzisombulule

Uphononongo lubonisa ukuba akuyi kuba lula ukungazihoyi izinto ezingalunganga kwaye ugxininise kwizinto ezilungileyo ekuqaleni, kodwa kuya kubakho imingeni ethile, enokoyiswa ngokulandela la macebiso alandelayo:

* Yenza uludwe olukhawulezayo lwayo yonke into eyenziwa liqabane ngalinye, uze ukhethe imisebenzi embalwa oza kuyitshintsha, ngokomzekelo, ukuba umyeni nguye osoloko ehambisa abantwana esikolweni, ngoko umfazi unokwenza lo msebenzi kwenye iintsuku zeveki, kwaye ukuba inkosikazi nguNabani na osoloko ebeka itafile yokutyela, umyeni angayilungisa ngenye imini. Eli nyathelo liya kumnceda loo mntu azibeke endaweni yomnye yaye uya kuyixabisa imigudu yakhe.

* Ukuzama ukwahlula iimvakalelo ezingalunganga kwizinto ezenzeka kwixesha elidlulileyo, kunye nokugxila kwixesha langoku. Ufanele azibuze: “Ngaba ndandinazo ezi mvakalelo zingathandekiyo ngaphambi komtshato? Yintoni eyabangela ezo mvakalelo?” Inyathelo lokwazi uhlobo lweengcinga neemvakalelo ezingakhiyo, ukuzichaza ngamagama, nokuchaza umthombo wazo kunokunceda ekupheliseni ezo ngcinga.

* Umyeni okanye umfazi uhlala ekhumbuza ukuba ukugxila ekuboneni izinto ezintle kunye nokutyeshela izinto ezingalunganga akuthethi ukutshintsha imikhwa kunye nokuziphatha kweqabane lobomi, kodwa kunoko kufana nokutshintsha imikhwa yomntu ngokwakhe, kwaye ngoko kunceda ngokufanelekileyo ukuphazamisa umjikelo we-negativity kubudlelwane bomtshato. Ukubona izinto ezintle kwaye uzive ulungile kwaye unombulelo unciphisa amafutha kumjikelo wokungakhathali kunye neengcinga eziyityhefu.

Uqikelelo lukaMaguy Farah lwehoroscope yonyaka ka-2023