Let your child calm down for himself

Let your child calm down for himself

For parents around the world, the range of child-rearing practices, advice and guidance has long been a source of much debate and divergence of view, especially when it comes to child-rearing.

“Training a child to sleep”

In a joint opinion article by Professor Darcia Narvaez, professor of psychology at the University of Notre Dame, and Catriona Canteo, assistant professor at the School of Health Sciences at the University of Southern Denmark, published on the British website iNews, with the rise and fall of trends, it appears that the topic of “sleep training” remains one of the The most divisive issue is whether leaving children alone to cry until they fall asleep is beneficial, as far as advocates for this method go.

It was recognized that children tend to get restless easily and struggle to sleep through the night. But these days, many parents take a different approach, with little, if any, intervention if their child wakes up and starts crying.

Calm the child to himself

Some researchers, bloggers, and doctors encourage "sleep training", claiming that it helps a child learn to self-soothe. But as researchers of the biological and psychological needs of infants over the past XNUMX years, we can confidently say that this is an illusion because in fact, sleep training violates what early childhood experts call the need for safe, stable, nurturing relationships, as well as violating Parents' instincts to comfort their young child.

Mammal Heritage

Indeed, from an evolutionary perspective, sleep training goes against the heritage of mammals in humans, which emphasizes nurturing companionship from responsive caregivers who provide ample affection and an always comfortable presence.

As social mammals, babies need affectionate touch and soothing care as they learn to self-regulate and how to live outside the womb. If caregivers are not cuddling and physically present with their young for at least several hours a day, multiple systems can skew because stress responses can be overreacted, meaning the brain will always be on the lookout for threats, even when they are not. already present (eg when someone accidentally bumps into you but you consider it a deliberate provocation).

A big part of the problem with trying to sleep a child is that it undermines key aspects of a child's development such as brain function, social and emotional intelligence, and confidence in oneself, others, and the world.

lonely baby monkeys

And experiments with isolated young monkeys showed that while they were deprived of their mother's touch (though they could still smell, hear and see other monkeys), for example, they developed all kinds of brain problems and social distortions. Humans are social mammals and need responsive and affectionate care, to say the least.

The human offspring is particularly immature at full birth - 40-42 weeks - with only 25% of the adult brain volume in place, because when humans evolved to walk on two legs, the female's pelvic area became narrow.

From a year and a half to 3

As a result of the narrowing of the female's pelvis, infants look like fetuses of other animals until about 18 months, when the bones of the upper skull finally fuse. A human child's brain triples in size by age three and during the first months and years, a child's brain and body establish the functions of multiple systems and respond to the care they receive. And the stress response can become hyperactive if children are not kept satisfied most of the time – which can cause long-term physical and mental health problems.

biological behavioral synchronization

Continuous vital behavioral synchronization with parents (i.e. the condition of physical presence, coupling of heart rhythms, autonomic function, coordination of brain oscillations, coordination of hormone secretion such as oxytocin) is critical in a child's life, and lays the foundations for the child for future self-regulation and social and emotional intelligence.

Because of this "screaming" sleep training can be harmful to the rapidly growing brain — and the growing psyche. Researchers have documented how, through sleep training, infants' fighting instincts and irritability are activated in the face of extreme distress, deprived of comfortable physical touch.

lack of social trust

When the ordeal of separation and unresponsiveness continues for a long time, the infant may calm down but retain limited energy. This withdrawal can manifest in numbness as a lack of social confidence that can carry over into adulthood. These patterns can persist into adulthood when things become very stressful, resulting in a closed state of thinking and feeling in situations where the individual is stimulated by a state of panic or anger.

The foundation of healthy growth

Children's brains and bodies are deeply shaped by caregiving practices, and this formation continues for life — unless treatment or other intervention occurs. In other words, parents have a great influence on their children's personality and their social and emotional intelligence. When parents feel comfortable and calm, it facilitates the healthy development of children.

real care

Genuine care and responsiveness means being able to adapt to what babies need, helping them stay calm, paying attention to gestures and facial expressions that indicate discomfort and moving around gently to restore balance. A baby's crying is also a late sign of need, so ignoring all the signs and signs down to the crying and screaming stage means that together it may mean the parents wait a very long time before paying attention to the baby's needs.

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