Ubudlelwano ne-narcissist buyakhathaza, ngakho-ke ungabuthola kanjani kusenesikhathi?

Ubudlelwano ne-narcissist buyakhathaza, ngakho-ke ungabuthola kanjani kusenesikhathi?

Ubudlelwano ne-narcissist buyakhathaza, ngakho-ke ungabuthola kanjani kusenesikhathi?

umlingani wamaphupho akho 

Ama-Narcisists acabanga ukuthi akhethekile futhi awafanele lutho ngaphandle kokungcono kakhulu. Uma bekhetha ukuthandana nomuntu, lowo muntu kumele abe okhethekile. Baqala ukukuthela ngothando nokunakekela, noma ngabe usubazi isikhathi esifushane kakhulu.

Uma usondelana kakhulu nabo, kungase kubonakale sengathi konke kuhamba kahle. Kodwa-ke, leli isu le-narcissistic elihlanganisayo elibizwa ngokuthi "i-love-bombing" elihlose ukukunxenxa futhi likuthonye uze ungasakwazi ukukuyeka.

Khumbula njalo: okuza kalula, kuhamba kalula. Uthando lweqiniso luthatha isikhathi nomzamo, futhi alufiki kalula futhi luningi kusukela ngesikhathi sokuqala njengemikhiqizo epakishwe kusengaphambili, ngakho-ke ungakhohliswa yilesi “siqalo esihle” ukuze ube sebudlelwaneni nomuntu othanda ukubhula ongase abulale ukuzethemba nokwazisa.

Isifiso sokudunyiswa njalo 

Uma isigaba "sokuqhunyiswa kothando" sesiphelile, izinto zijikela kwesokunxele, ngokwezimpawu ezibikwe yi-The Good Man Project. Uzakwethu we-narcissistic uzophatha iningi lezingxoxo, futhi izingxoxo eziningi zizobe zimayelana nazo. Uma uzama ukushintsha isihloko, uzoba senkingeni.

Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi ama-narcisists azilinganisa njengabangcono kunawo wonke umuntu, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo lo mqondo wokuzicabangela ubuthakathaka kakhulu, badinga ukuqinisekiswa kwangaphandle nokuqinisekiswa ukuthi omunye umuntu uthandana nabo.

Uma usuyekile ukubancoma ngaso sonke isikhathi kanye nesimo baqala ukwethuka. Lokhu kubonakala ekumangaleleni okunjengokuthi “Awunandaba nami”, “Awusangithandi” noma “Awusangikhangi”, okukushukumisela ngokuzenzakalelayo ukuthi uqalise kabusha ukudumisa.

Unganaki imizwa yakho

Esinye sezikhalazo ezivame kakhulu ezivela kuzisulu zokuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic ukunganaki njalo kozakwethu we-narcissistic ngemizwa yomunye umuntu. Ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho uzama ukuveza imizwa yakho yokudabuka noma intukuthelo, uzohlangana nokunganaki noma ukucikeka.

Isizathu esikhulu salokhu kuntuleka kozwelo ukuthi imizwa yakho ayifinyeleli kubo ukuze ibathinte. Umabhebhana ugxile ekuzithandeni kangangoba akabi naso isisusa sokuthanda omunye umuntu.

Kodwa-ke kunobufakazi bokuthi ama-narcissists ayakwazi ukuzwelana nabanye, kodwa abazimisele ukwenza lokho, futhi lokhu kuziba kukodwa kufanele ukukutshela ukuthi usebudlelwaneni ne-narcissist.

ukukusola

Olunye lwezimpawu zama-narcissists amandla abo okushintsha umbono wakho weqiniso. Baluka izindaba, benza imigilingwane, bahlebe namagama uze uzithole usubanikeza olunye uxolo. Lolu hlobo lokuziphatha lubizwa ngokuthi "i-gaslighting" futhi lwenziwa ngokuphindaphindiwe yi-narcissist kuze kube yilapho ufika lapho uhlala ungabaza wena kanye nezinqumo zakho.

Ngokuvamile uyozibuza ukuthi ingabe uzwela kakhulu futhi ingabe ngempela unephutha? Ukuzethemba kwakho kuzokwehla futhi uthole ukuthi awusakwethembi ingqondo yakho. Ukuntula kwakho ukuzethemba kanye nokukhungatheka okungapheli kondla ama-narcisists 'egos futhi kuthuthukisa amandla abo nomuzwa wobubona. Bazama ukucekela phansi umuzwa wakho ukuze uzizwe uphakeme futhi uphakeme.

Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi ubudlelwano abunampilo uma kufanele uphathe umlingani wakho ngokukhathazeka nangokuqapha, njengokungathi uhamba phezu kwamagobolondo amaqanda.

Uzizwa emfanele konke 

Umlingani wakho othanda i-narcissistic ebudlelwaneni bakho uzwa sengathi "ufanelwe" into angazange ayizuze. Kunokuba baziphathe njengabantu abadala abavamile futhi benze umsebenzi wabo wenziwe, abantu abasebenzisa i-narcissistic banomuzwa wokuthi akubafanele, futhi baphikelela ukuthi othile athathe lo msebenzi, ngokusho kolunye uphawu olubukezwe umagazini waseMelika i-Psychology Today.

Lokhu sivame ukukubona ebudlelwaneni lapho omunye wabalingani enqaba ukwamukela umsebenzi, ngisho noma esesimweni esibucayi sezimali. Kanti futhi uma uthandana nomuntu ophethwe i-narcissism ngokuvamile uzobukeka njengengane ephonsa intukuthelo ukuze inakwe.

Ngokuvamile, ama-narcissists angase abonise ukuziphatha okungavamile kanye nobugovu emzamweni wokuthola abakufunayo uma bengenakho ukunakwa ngokwanele, imali, ukusekelwa, uthando, njll.

Umzamo ongapheli

Ukuthatheka ngezinhlamvu ze-narcissistic ekugcineni kuyaphela. Ukuziphatha kwabo okukhohlisayo kuthinta kabi ingqondo yakho futhi uzozithola usulungele ukuqeda ubudlelwano nabo futhi uhambe unomphela.

Kodwa uma uqala ukuqhela kubo, bayatatazela. AmaNarcissists awakwazi ukubhekana nokulahlwa ngoba kuwuphawu lokuthi awafunwa. Uma kufika isimo esiphazamisa umuzwa we-narcissist wokuphelela nokuphakama, bakuhlasela kabuhlungu.

Bayoziphindiselela ukuze banelise ubuze babo obululazayo futhi bazame ukusindisa ubuso ngokuthethisa nangokuluma. Bangase banqume ukungena ebuhlotsheni obusha ngemva nje kokuhlukana futhi bakhuthaze ubuhlobo babo obusha obujabulisayo, benze ngamabomu yonke into abebenqaba ukuyenza nawe. Umgomo omkhulu uwukwenza uzisole ngokuthi ubadedele bahamba.

Ekugcineni, zingase ziphinde zivele empilweni yakho futhi ziveze isifiso sokwakha kabusha ubudlelwano nawe. Bazocula amaculo oguquko kanye nokuzilungisa, kodwa ungagculiseki. Uma ungabaza, buyela endaweni yokuqala yobudlelwano futhi uqaphele iqiniso, yilokho kanye abakwenza kusukela ekuqaleni.

Awusoze wabanelisa ngoba abazizwa kahle ngabo. Uma usuqede ubudlelwano bakho nabo, ungaphinde ubathinte futhi ungabaniki ithuba lesibili lokukulimaza ngokwengqondo nangokomzwelo.

Uma usebudlelwaneni obuhlukumezayo be-narcissistic, shiya ngokushesha futhi ufune usizo. Kufanele uqale inqubo yokululama emiphumeleni yalobo budlelwano obunobuthi ngokushesha okukhulu. Kungase kube nzima, kodwa kuyadingeka. Qala ukuzakha kabusha ngokuqaphela, ukuqonda, kanye nokuzithanda wena (kohlobo olungezona i-narcissistic).

Ezinye izihloko: 

Ubhekana kanjani nomuntu ongakunaki ngobuhlakani?

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