Okuhlangenwe nakho okuqinisekisa impumelelo yezindlela zokuzinzisa impilo yomshado

Okuhlangenwe nakho okuqinisekisa impumelelo yezindlela zokuzinzisa impilo yomshado

Ucwaningo lwesayensi lwaluhlanganisa imishado engu-40 50 phakathi neminyaka engu-XNUMX, ngenjongo yokubeka isisekelo esiyinhloko sokuqinisekisa ukuzinza kobudlelwane bomshado nokugwema isehlukaniso. Ucwaningo lwenziwe uDkt. John Gottman nomkakhe, uDkt. Julie Schwartz, abasunguli beGottman Institute for Psychology Studies nababhali be-Love Prescription: Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy and Ten Principles of Effective Couples Therapy. .

Ngokwalokho okushicilelwe yi-CNBC, lezi zazi zokusebenza kwengqondo ezimbili zathi nakuba isibopho somshado noma ubuhlobo buhlukile, bunezinselelo zabo, kunesici esisodwa esivamile phakathi kwayo yonke imibhangqwana abafuna ukubongwa, nokuqashelwa. imizamo yabo, bese igama eliyimfihlo lempumelelo yobudlelwano bomshado yigama elithi “ngiyabonga”.

Ubudlelwano bomshado obuphumelelayo budinga isiko lokwazisa kanye nokubonga.Ukuqaphela ukuthi umlingani wakho wenza kahle kusho ukugxila ezintweni ezinhle, hhayi ezimbi. Leli siko lingazuzwa ngokususa izitayela zokucabanga ezinobuthi lapho ubheka okuhle bese uthi “ngiyabonga”.

Izinyathelo zokuthola umqondo wokwazisa

Omunye uthi ‘ngiyabonga’ usuku lonke, cishe ngaphandle kokucabanga, kozakwabo noma kumabhalane amabhodlela esitolo esikhulu noma kumuntu angamazi obambe isicabha lapho ewela noma umshayeli olinde ukuba avunyelwe ukuwela umgwaqo ngokuphepha. Kodwa ebuhlotsheni obubaluleke kakhulu ekuphileni kwakhe, angakhohlwa ukuthi kubaluleke kangakanani ukuthi "ngiyabonga" kumlingani wakhe.

Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo uDkt. Gottman noDkt. Schwartz bathi lapho indoda noma inkosikazi iqala ukwenza okuthile ukuze ibonise ukwazisa, kuba lula ngomshado ukuqina futhi uphumelele.

Isinyathelo 1: Qaphela imininingwane eduze:

Noma nini lapho kungenzeka, indoda noma inkosikazi ingalandela okwenzeka kuyo, ibone amaphuzu amahle futhi ishaye indiva okubi. Abacwaningi baveza ukuthi kuyenzeka umyeni atshele umaqondana wakhe ukuthi umbhekile ukuze amazi kangcono ngosuku lwakhe nakho konke akwenzayo, echaza ukuthi ukuziphatha kwakhe ngeke kushintshe kakhulu uma esekwazi lokho. umyeni ubheka imininingwane.

Isinyathelo Sesibili: Ukubonisa Ukubonga:

Abacwaningi batusa ukuba imibhangqwana ibonise ukubonga nokwazisana ngakho konke abakwenzayo ngendlela evamile, ngisho noma kukuncane, ikakhulukazi uma kuyinto elula futhi bayenza nsuku zonke. Kodwa abamane bathi 'ngiyabonga', batshelana ukuthi isenzo esilula siyisixazululo esibalulekile, isibonelo, lapho inkosikazi yenza umyeni wakhe inkomishi yekhofi ekuseni noma lapho umyeni ethenga esitolo. indlela eya ekhaya evela emsebenzini.Ekhaya, umlingani ophila naye ubonga omunye nomunye, ethi kwenza usuku luhambe kahle.

thola amaphutha bese uxazulula

Ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi angeke kube lula ukungazinaki izinto ezingezinhle ekuqaleni, kodwa kuzoba nezinselelo ezinganqotshwa ngokulandela la macebiso alandelayo:

* Yenza uhlu olusheshayo lwazo zonke izinto ezenziwa umngane womshado ngamunye, bese ukhetha imisebenzi embalwa ozoyishintsha, isibonelo, uma umyeni kunguye ohlale ehambisa izingane esikoleni, khona-ke inkosikazi ingenza lo msebenzi kwenye izinsuku zesonto, futhi uma inkosikazi inguNoma ubani njalo obeka itafula lokudlela, umyeni angalilungisa ngolunye usuku. Lesi sinyathelo siyosiza lowo muntu ukuthi azibeke esikhundleni somunye futhi siyokwazisa imizamo yakhe.

* Ukuzama ukuhlukanisa imizwa engemihle kulokho okwenzeka esikhathini esidlule, nokugxila esikhathini samanje. Kufanele azibuze: “Ingabe nganginayo le mizwa engemihle ngaphambi komshado? Yini eyabangela leyo mizwa?” Isinyathelo sokuhlonza uhlobo lwemicabango nemizwa engemihle, ukuyiqamba, nokuveza umsuka wayo kungasiza ukuyiqeda.

* Indoda noma inkosikazi ihlale ikhumbuza ukuthi ukugxila ekuboneni okuhle nokushaya indiva okubi akusho ukushintsha imikhuba nokuziphatha komlingani wokuphila, kodwa kunalokho kufana nokuguqula imikhuba yomuntu ngokwakhe, ngakho-ke kusiza ngempumelelo ukuphazamisa umjikelezo wokungabi nanzuzo ebuhlotsheni bomshado. Ukubona okuhle nokuzizwa kahle kanye nokubonga kunciphisa uphethiloli kusukela kumjikelezo wokungabi nandaba nemicabango enobuthi.

Izibikezelo ze-horoscope zika-Maguy Farah zonyaka ka-2023